It just shocks me, how even hearing from him can cause me so much pain. It's not that I want to be with him anymore, because I don't, but I can't leave that part of my life in the past. It's not a healthy connection, but thoughts of him twist me up inside, hurt me. The body, reacting to this threat, looks to fight or flight, but I just can't do either... I'm stuck. I can't demand solitude and I can't run away. I'm stuck.
Heartbreak.. too common to be surprising and too gut-wrenching to find peace.
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